Exam time stress - yours and your teens

It's that time of year again, teenagers across the country are preparing to take their exams, whether they are GCSE's or "A" levels, there are tensions starting to develop.

Your teenager is preparing for something which they know is very important and will affect their future choices, they want to do the best that they can. So how can you help them achieve the best results possible? 

1. Keep calm, easier said than done sometimes but your teen is feeling stressed and you getting stressed as well isn't going to help. Remember that your teenager may lash out but this is just to relieve some of the tension they are feeling. It is not personal.
2. Help them to create a revision timetable and diarise the dates and times of the exams. This way they know which exams are coming and the time and length of the exams. They can fit their revision into the timetable so that they can see what needs to be done.
3. Be available, although your teenager finds it hard to believe, they know you have been through this experience and come out the other side. Sometimes they just need telling that it will all work out. 
4. Reassure them that they have worked hard with their revision and that they really do know the things they need to be able to get through the exam. The school will have spent months preparing them for this, doing past papers and reinforcing learning. They are well prepared although they may have a crisis of confidence and think they don't. Just reassure them but back it up with facts like the school have prepared them, saying you know they'll be fine doesn't cut it.
5. Try to make sure that they are getting enough sleep, sitting up all night looking at revision books or being on the internet is not going to help them perform well the next day. The old cliche of a warm milky drink before bed really does work. 
6. When they have an exam, help them by providing a good healthy breakfast that will slowly release energy throughout the morning, eggs are a really good choice (according to a nutritionist friend). 
7. Help by making sure that your teenager is drinking enough to stay properly hydrated, especially if it is warm. The brain cannot function properly when it is dehydrated. Make sure they have water or squash rather than fizzy drinks. If they are studying in their room, take drinks up occasionally so that they can stay hydrated.
8. Ensure that they have everything ready for the exam the night before, you won't need any pre exam tensions.
9. After the exam has finished, be available to talk. Allow them to tell you how much or little they want to. Sometimes they may feel an exam has not gone well and will look for reassurance, other times they will think it is fine and not need to talk. 
10. Remember it is only 5 weeks of exams and then it will be over and results will be awaited. Your teenager may feel that they have been studying and working hard for ages and that there is no end in sight. Let them have some down time to do what they want between exams. They will need time to relax and unwind and feel "normal".

Stay calm and support your teenager, the exams will be over quickly enough.

If you need some help and support during this time, please contact me on 07586 379 301.

When do we stop dreaming?

I was reading a book today about time management and one of the paragraphs talks about having focus to be able to achieve what you need to complete. It made me think about dreams, what we want in our lives. When you ask a young child what they want to be when they grow up they usually, instantly, will tell you something, it might be an astronaut, train driver, dancer or princess. Ask the same question of an adult - perhaps not the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" - along the lines of what do you want to achieve and they usually have to spend quite some time thinking about it.

 

So what happens, what changes between being a child with everything the world has to offer laid before you and adulthood where we feel constricted?  Discussing this with a colleague, her answer was that as an adult, reality has kicked in and you realise that your dreams are not possible. Do you agree? 

I think that as adults we get into a rut of just making a living and doing the routine, our dreams drift away but if we put our mind and efforts into achieving our dreams, there is no limit to what can be accomplished if you believe you can. More importantly what are we teaching our children about their dreams? Are you showing your children that dreams and ambition are an important part of adult life? Do we say that they can achieve them, that they can be an astronaut, train driver, dancer or princess or do we say they can't? Is our lack of big dreams a result of our childhood? 

I would be interested in your thoughts. Do you still have a big goal that you will achieve?

Are you helping your child make good decisions?

I was at a GCSE choices evening at a local school the other day. The evening is run by the school so that the Year 9 students can make a decision about the subjects that they would like to study at GCSE level. As the children move into Year 10 the subjects that they can study change and new subjects become available. The school had a number of displays about the subjects available. As the parents and their teens walked round looking at the subjects available, a number of parents could be heard telling their children "you should study......" followed by the appropriate subject. Are these parents enabling their children to make good decisions? All parents want to make sure that their child selects subjects that they will enjoy studying and will be successful at. Perhaps a better way for parents to start this conversation would be "What subjects do you enjoy doing now?" or "What interests you about this subject?". It shows that you are listening to what your child is interested in and what they want to study. If a child is interested in the subject, they will work hard to achieve the qualification but if it is subject they have chosen because they felt they had to, there is little motivation for them to make a success of it.

We are trying to ensure our children become responsible young adults and yet some of the most important decisions that they will get to make are being made for them by their parents. Are you enabling your child to make good decisions or are you making the decisions for them?